


Now I See You ‘Til Kingdom Come

by theshipsfirstmate



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, post-4x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5397632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshipsfirstmate/pseuds/theshipsfirstmate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post-4x09 Olicity angst. “Their first night away, in a cheap motel near the airport in Coast City, he told her about standing on the mountaintop with Ra’s al Ghul.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now I See You ‘Til Kingdom Come

_A/N: This is gonna be one of many. I have so many feels._

_Title from “[Three Rounds and a Sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juvwlEO-x2o)” by Blind Pilot_

**Now I See You ‘Til Kingdom Come**

Their first night away, in a cheap motel near the airport in Coast City, he told her about standing on a mountaintop with Ra’s al Ghul. It was some kind of confession for him, and she didn’t know it then, but it was something he’d make a habit of on their trip around the world.

He told her about his time in Nanda Parbat and on Lian Yu, he told her about the Bratva brotherhood and the League of Assassins. He told her about torture and heartbreak and rebirth, and she held him while the weight lifted off his shoulders, a little bit at a time.

But that first night, he told her about falling off a mountain, and thinking of her.

They were tangled up in each other on top of the thin sheets, riding high on waves of intimacy that, for the first time, weren’t shadowed in dread and painful hopelessness. From where her head rested on his bare chest, she could see smudges of her lipstick that she knew trailed all the way up to his neck, just below his ear. She raised a hand to trace over one of the marks, ignoring the fact that it was close to his freshest, most vicious scar. But Oliver didn’t.

“When he ran the sword through me…” She had flinched and he held her tighter, lost in the memory, as she snaked her hand around his waist to press beneath his back. “It was like things were happening in slow motion. Before I fell, I saw all the people that I love.”

She lifted her head from his chest, and he tilted his to look her deep in the eye, like he was seeing right through her. It was comforting, that they had the exact same thought.

“Felicity, I love you,” His voice scraped over the syllables, but was the most beautiful sound in the world when she knew it wasn’t going to be followed by a qualifier “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything, more than I ever thought I’d be able to.”

“I love you, too.” She had said the words before, but she had never meant them like that. “I’ve loved you for so long.”

His eyes might have gone misty, but it was hard to tell because hers definitely did. He pressed his lips down to hers, softly, and when she squeezed her eyes shut the tears dropped to her cheeks, only to be instantly traced away by soft swipes of his thumbs. “Hey, it’s okay.” He kissed her again and again, until she settled back against him.

“I saw my parents,” he told her, and she felt the rumble of emotion through his chest. “But, not as they died. I saw them smiling.”

She was grateful for that, though she always bristled at the recollection of Robert and Moira Queen, at the things they had inflicted on their children, and their city. Oliver had two decades worth of different memories, though, and she swore to herself in that moment that she’d never sully them with her vengeful thoughts.

“I saw Thea on the day I came home,” he continued. Felicity had only recently gotten to know Oliver’s sister in their new capacity of honesty, though she’d felt something of a bond with her for longer than that, probably since realizing she was in love with her brother. “She was so young, she was still a girl…”

He trailed off on a thought and she had pressed her lips to his chest, a physical reminder that she was there with him. It was for both of them, she still hadn’t been able to believe it herself. “I haven’t seen her smile like that since.”

“She seems happy under the hood,” Felicity offered and he had grimaced, she could tell it even without looking up at him. “You did that _for_ her, Oliver, not to her.”

“When I left, I told you that I loved you.” He moved on quickly, and the intensity of the memory nearly gave her whiplash. “I said it, for the first time out loud, and we said goodbye, but you didn’t smile then. I couldn’t remember the last time you smiled at me.”

“I was terrified,” she had whispered, pressing the words into his skin. “Furious at you, and…beyond furious at Malcolm, but mostly terrified.”

“I know,” he nodded, she felt it against the top of her head. “And I wouldn’t have asked you to. But when I was recovering, I would remember it wrong, just so I could see you smile at me.”

He had told her a fair share of heartbreaking stories to that point, and he’d tell her even more as their trip went on. But that one would always be a special little pinprick right in the center of her chest.

“That’s all I wanted, when I fell, when I thought I wasn’t going to make it, I just…” His voice broke and she dug her nails into his skin, not caring if it hurt, certain in that moment that she’d never let him go again. “More than anything, I hoped against hope that I’d get to see you smile again.”

* * *

Just hours ago, she was telling him how she doesn’t need protecting, so it’s some kind of karmic blow when he crawls up to the front seat to drive them out of the Ghosts’ death trap and the bullet burns its way into her side, almost immediately. There’s a flash outside the window and, for one split second, it reflects off the diamond on her left hand, then she’s coughing up something viscous and coppery.

It’s like it’s happening in slow motion. She doesn’t cry out, doesn’t want to distract him. He needs to save them both. But as she slips into unconsciousness, she remembers what he told her.

She thinks of her mother, who she’s spent more time with in the last few months than in the decade before combined. She pictures Donna smiling up at Quentin Lance, and this time, the disarming shock melts into something more pleasant. Felicity hasn’t seen her mother smile like that since she was very young, she realizes, and she’s grateful that somehow, after all these years of heartbreak, they’ve each found their way to worthy men.

She thinks of Thea, and is filled with pride and relief at how strong she is now. She’ll need to be, for all of them. In her memory, the proposal in the park is mostly a blur of sparkling lights and Oliver’s hopeful eyes, but she can distinctly remember seeing his sister, smiling harder than she’s ever seen, as she applauded their engagement.

And she thinks, of course, of Oliver. How his whole face lit up when she told him she would have said yes, and later when she did. How his hands shook when he slid the ring on her finger. How he’d lived so much of his adult life in the darkness, but stood up that night, illuminated by the hopefulness and ceremony of the holidays, and told the whole city that she was his light.

More than anything, she hopes against hope that she’ll get to see him smile again.


End file.
